So I’ll know its christmas too…
This is not one of those… “I hate christmas and i think it is childish or some equally irate point of view about a globally accepted holiday” kind of post!
Now that that is said, and out of the way. What is this post really about then? What does Christmas stand for to me now? what did it used to stand for in the past?
A couple of years ago, christmas was about having the whole family around in thesame house for a few days, but save for a few rare occurances in the last 10 years, if we manage 50 percent turn up out of the whole gang, it is usually fair. This year, it probably will be about thesame number, but there are nephews and a niece and so many others to douse the gnawing emptiness that the avoidable or unavoidable absences of other family members might generate. I can only hope.
A couple of years ago, christmas was about tagging up with old pals in town for the holidays. A couple of times family friends came into town for the holidays and it turned out noisy and active, just like holidays should be. However, over the past few years I have felt deeper and deeper levels of estrangement from old ties; save for a few regular pals that have become the sand i can cast my anchor, and vice versa. So rather than uniting me with pals i haven’t seen in a while, I am more likely to seek out those pals who I usually see, and will see through out the year, or at least I hope to see!
Then family. Christmas was always a time that we got together to share the memories of time past, to recount old stories and tell new escapades. Dreams and plans for the future were exchanged and we shared wonderful family gourmet over bear hugs, beaming smiles and spontaneous laughter. But I dread that even though such warmth from the family unit is a given, and thankfully so, the absence of Pa is gonna be a challenge to surmount, and no easy one for that matter.
What am I saying really then? This christmas to me is going to be pretty different. The season seems to have lost most of its magic for me, and I say that with the deepest regret. Nonetheless, I will consume myself with the satisfaction that some one out there, some little boy, in some room, some family of 3 or maybe of 6 will feel the magic of christmas, and through their joy, and the way it will radiate around them, I would know its christmas too!
